i need to get fucked by something other than my life
dont u hate it when u have a romantic dream about someone who u never thought about in a romantic way and then u wake up and have some weird crush on them like wtf subconscious why u gotta do this to me
What’s it like being over 20? Is it fun?
You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.
guys be like “makeup is why you take a bitch swimming on the first date!!!” but sweetie I got that urban decay setting spray ayeeee
- men: women who wear makeup are just lying to us
- men: it's 8 inches
"u dont need makeup to be pretty just be urself!!!"
ok but consider this
- i fucking love eyeliner
the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
Fat babes being fierce and visible changed my fucking life.
- Waitress: do you have any questions about the menu?
- Me: what kind of font is this?
*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*