You kissed me on the lips, promised me I’d be okay.
You kissed me on the cheek, told me celebratory reading would go perfectly.
You kissed me on top of the head, demanding I tell what you I said after you took the remote off my key ring.
You kissed me crookedly through my open car window, said goodbye to our friendship forever.
You kissed me all over, decided we were enough for forever.
untitled on Flickr.
it’s amazing that i can remember this night so clearly, me prancing around my bathroom doing my makeup and feeling really pretty, feeling really really good about everything.
it’s odd to me how much i primped and prepared for this night, the first time seeing jared since graduation, compared to when i saw him a couple of weeks ago where i didn’t primp, i didn’t even check my hair and makeup before i walked out the door. i just changed into jeans and different shoes and left, so eager to see him again that appearances didn’t really matter.
i miss him, and i’m just being nostalgic.
a week ago, we were together. we were cuddling and singing and laughing and TALKING. and kissing… kissing. i miss you.
start slow. forehead kisses. eskimo kisses. cheek kisses. get comfortable with each other. first kisses. gentle kisses. one right after another. kisses melting into kisses. ear kisses. neck kisses. “i don’t want to go” kisses. “please stay” kisses. hold their hand as they walk you to your car. goodbye kisses. crooked kisses. make up kisses. stolen kisses. hand kisses. “i love you” kisses. kissing kissing kissing is such a beautiful thing and i forgot what it felt like.
flawed kisses, crooked kisses, gentle kisses, make-up kisses, kissing kissing kissing is all i can think about right now.
“but no pulling an Adolf and running off to Berlin for three months and leaving me at the Berghof all by myself.”
“I promise to you, my little Eva, that I will try my best not to fall into my past life.”
jared and i can theorize about hitler & eva for days and we will still never get closer to defining anything real. we both agree that if we could go back to any time period, we would go back then and ask them: what was the defining moment in your relationship, when you knew it was for keeps? jared would ask when he realized he really loved eva… i would ask how she managed to be kept in the dark for so long without throwing a hissy fit like i always do. it’s a weird thing to think about, but we both have been throwing around the idea of reincarnation… little things are tweaked here and there, but so far almost everything fits. we’re just two old souls bumbling around in this life, and we fit better together.