i like photography, fashion, makeup, sunshine, my boyfriend, and coffee

You kissed me on the lips, promised me I’d be okay.
You kissed me on the cheek, told me celebratory reading would go perfectly.
You kissed me on top of the head, demanding I tell what you I said after you took the remote off my key ring.
You kissed me crookedly through my open car window, said goodbye to our friendship forever.
You kissed me all over, decided we were enough for forever.

untitled on Flickr.

it’s amazing that i can remember this night so clearly, me prancing around my bathroom doing my makeup and feeling really pretty, feeling really really good about everything.

it’s odd to me how much i primped and prepared for this night, the first time seeing jared since graduation, compared to when i saw him a couple of weeks ago where i didn’t primp, i didn’t even check my hair and makeup before i walked out the door. i just changed into jeans and different shoes and left, so eager to see him again that appearances didn’t really matter.

i miss him, and i’m just being nostalgic.

You deserve to look for love, if that’s what you want, and be ready to accept it when it comes your way. You might find yourself overwhelmed and even briefly in disbelief when you realize that someone actually loves you for who you are and wants nothing more than to be with you, but you should be able to embrace that unconditional caring with your own. You should wrap your arms around them and cover them with your whole body — flesh, bone, the ugly little cracks and scars that they can’t stop kissing — and know that you are a good person, who is worthy of such joy. You deserve not to question every person who gives you a compliment or tells you that you’re wonderful, not to wonder if they have some ulterior motive, or if you are somehow the victim of an elaborate prank. You should realize that you are worth loving because you are ready to love back. —What You Deserve | Thought Catalog

a week ago, we were together. we were cuddling and singing and laughing and TALKING. and kissing… kissing. i miss you.

i miss you, you goof.

start slow. forehead kisses. eskimo kisses. cheek kisses. get comfortable with each other. first kisses. gentle kisses. one right after another. kisses melting into kisses. ear kisses. neck kisses. “i don’t want to go” kisses. “please stay” kisses. hold their hand as they walk you to your car. goodbye kisses. crooked kisses. make up kisses. stolen kisses. hand kisses. “i love you” kisses. kissing kissing kissing is such a beautiful thing and i forgot what it felt like.

flawed kisses, crooked kisses, gentle kisses, make-up kisses, kissing kissing kissing is all i can think about right now.

my shirt still smells like you, 12 hours later.

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spontaneous trips to see jared are the best.

“but no pulling an Adolf and running off to Berlin for three months and leaving me at the Berghof all by myself.”
“I promise to you, my little Eva, that I will try my best not to fall into my past life.” 

jared and i can theorize about hitler & eva for days and we will still never get closer to defining anything real. we both agree that if we could go back to any time period, we would go back then and ask them: what was the defining moment in your relationship, when you knew it was for keeps? jared would ask when he realized he really loved eva… i would ask how she managed to be kept in the dark for so long without throwing a hissy fit like i always do. it’s a weird thing to think about, but we both have been throwing around the idea of reincarnation… little things are tweaked here and there, but so far almost everything fits. we’re just two old souls bumbling around in this life, and we fit better together.

“I just came in from dancing in the storm.”
“that’s quite the image that just danced in my head.”
“I wish you could have joined me.”
“I would love to dance in the rain with you.”
“It would have been nice to have your company, Anna.”